What version of Alfresco are you using? Hopefully the performance of large folders is a little better in 2.1.
>2- the page counter, every time we enter to the folder, shows a different number of pages.
It's a bit strange yes but it's by design. The idea is to limit the load on the server by having a maximum time limit to wait for the call to get the folder contents to come back from the server, if it takes too long the first N files are shown. Due to various caching effects, the number of files returned tends to grow as you visit the same folder again and again. This can be tuned or disabled via config (see repository.properties)
#
# Properties to limit resources spent on individual searches
#
# The maximum time spent pruning results
system.acl.maxPermissionCheckTimeMillis=10000
# The maximum number of results to perform permission checks against
system.acl.maxPermissionChecks=1000
>3- the performance of a folder that contain a lot of files is really poor.
This may be true, but the web-client UI is not the only way you can deal with the objects. Realistically is a user actually going to step through 100's of pages to find what they want? No - they are going to use Search or categories etc. to find things. You can use templates or custom views to display more sensibly constrained lists of files and present them to your users. Using a deeper folder structure will also help (i.e. less files per folder, but more folders).
Thanks,
Kevin